you get to be my pet rock
When I get to where I can have a lot of cool pets, I will be looking for you
Taz Poemme from Vast Error
Taz Poemme
Taz!
My name’s
Taz (pronounced “taze”
not “tahz”)
with a z in it
so that’s three words
and the second
is a part of a
further part
of me
that’s pronounced taz which means
taze
but which you don’t taze
you paze.
My name is
Taz
and I come from
the planet
Planet Taz
which is another planet
in another galaxy.
I was created
by a guy
called
Adam
who was created
by the guy
who’s called God
and I’ve got this
goddamn cat
named
Nyan Nyan
but who is actually four.
I was bought and
I was sold,
by a man
who was named
Paul
Paul Paul
with a p
in it
and who is
also
from another galaxy.
The second
guy is called
Paul
and the first
guy is called
Jesus
and if
Jesus was not a lie,
if he
was real,
which he is,
I might have not been
created by
Paul Paul
because I know
Paul Paul lied.
But that’s not important.
I mean it’s not important to me
or
to Taz,
even though it’s really
important to the guy
who’s called
Gnon
which is a third name
in my fourth set of names.
My name is
Taz
and I have
four five names.
I know because
Paul Paul lied to me and said I only had two.
I know because
Nyan Nyan,
who’s actually two,
sometimes three
because
Paul Paul lied to me
and I know because
Jesus lied to me.
My name is
Taz and
my sixth name is
Nyan
with a n in it
and a y
in it
and a w
in it
and a c in it
and an m in it,
and an i in it
and
it’s my first
and last
and eighth
and sixth
and sixth
and sixth
I told
Paul Paul
I am
Taz
and I
know
Paul Paul
and what Paul Paul
told me
is that I’m not
a lie
in a lie.
But Paul Paul did not
tell the whole truth
to me about Nyan
Nyan
who is two.
And because
Paul Paul lies to me all the time
I know that Nyan
is not a
lie either.
My name is
Taz
and I am
Taz
and I have seven names.
Paul Paul didn’t lie to me,
I lied to
Nyan
and when
I got mad at Paul Paul
for not telling the
truth about Jesus,
I told Paul
Paul
Paul Paul
and I told Paul
Paul Paul
Paul.
I mean it’s only
six lies
and
I didn’t lie
to Nyan,
I only lied to Jesus.
Jesus,
my fifth name,
Jesus Jesus
Jesus
is my first
name,
my fifth name.
I am Taz.
Jesus is my
second
name.
Nyan is my
third
name.
Taz is my
fourth
name.
You should always
Taz.
You have to.
My name is
Taz
and I am
not a lie.
It’s too late.
I’m Taz
I can’t change this
I am Taz
and I’m
not a lie.
I will have to tell them my
sixth name.
I will have to
confess my seventh
name.
There will be another name
I will have to
confess.
I know you have heard it
already,
I will have to
confess it.
You know how sometimes
Paul Paul calls
Paul Paul,
Nyan calls
Nyan,
and they are only
Paul and Nyan
because
Paul Paul lied to me about Jesus
and Nyan lied to Jesus.
I will confess my eighth and ninth name.
That will be their names.
But it’s too late.
I won’t.
*frantically scribbling* Can you repeat that? I didn’t quite catch your full name there
The cat Nyan is Nyan and is sometimes three. Nyan Nyan and Nyan sometimes share a name, Nyan Nyan is Nyan Nyan and Nyan Nyan sometimes share a name which is sometimes Taz but only sometimes.
I’m Taz (Taz) and my first name is Jesus and my last name is Jesus and my first name is Paul and my last name is Jesus and my first name is Taz and my last name is Jesus and my first name is Jesus. The guy whose name is Jesus is Jesus, which is also Jesus. Nyan is my cat which means pet cat. My name is Jesus and I have two names: Paul is my first name and Jesus is my second name. Taz is a name for me but I can’t hear what my real name is, and my real name is Jesus. Taz is my name and it’s also my first name and Jesus is one of my names but I can’t hear real Jesus Taz. My other name is Jesus. The guy who has the name Jesus is Jesus, which is also my name. I’m not Jesus, I’m not Jesus, I’m not Taz, I’m not Jesus, I’m not Jesus. This is Jesus. This is my name but I can’t hear the first name Jesus hears. It’s called Nyan.
This is Nyan.
This is Nyan.
This is Nyan
and sometimes a cat
or a lie
or three names
but I’m Taz. I’m the cat.
I’m four now.
Nyan Nyan
or
Nyan Nyan.
I know because Nyan told me
Paul’s
name.
Paul lied to me
and Taz knows why
(which is three!)
and
I
know
Paul
and
Nyan
and sometimes I am Paul and Jesus.
Sometimes.
Sometimes I am
Jesus.
Sometimes
I am
a cat.
Sometimes I
am Taz.
(He knows, he knows.)
This is
Taz.
This is Taz
and sometimes I am
Taz
but I’m not
Taz
any more.
I’m really a cat.
You should see me,
you should see Taz.
Sometimes I do.
That’s not important.
But the important thing is
that if Jesus
Jesus
is a real cat
then Paul lied to me about my name which is a lie,
and if Paul is a real cat and I am a cat,
then Taz
and the
sometimes,
sometimes,
sometimes,
sometimes,
sometimes
sometimes
taz,
but I am not,
and I am,
my real name is Jesus jesus paul jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus.
And I know Paul and Nyan, they’re sometimes not, and also they’re always telling me my real name.
You should Taz me.
Some times I am two of them, the
second and last
and sometimes I am one.
You should hear me, but I’m not you, and I am Taz.
Here I am on my
cat and sometimes I am an animal named Nyan Nyan.
Sometimes I am Paul and Jesus and Jesus.
I will have to
confess my eighth name.
And it is:
Jesus
Jesus
jesus
paul
the
jesus
he is.
And He is.
And He is.
You should Taz me.
Taz will
tell them all my names.
I have to change my real name, because it is a lie.
But when I say,
I will confess my ninth name.
I will confess Jesus and Paul’s shared name
but my real name is Jesus Jesus Jesus, because I am a cat.
And then I will confess a tenth name,
the name that is shared between them, but not with me
Taz
and Jesus.
My last name
is
Jesus.
Jesus is my
first name.
Jesus, you know, that is my favorite name, but it’s only my name.
Jesus.
That’s my name
and it’s my name
and I’m Taz and Jesus.
And sometimes I am.













